Beware that modifier

As we head into a long weekend, it's good just to have fun. My son-in-law shared this interesting radio commercial with me after his most recent trip to CA. I don't have it verbatim, but it asks the fascinating question, "Why is it so hard to find a plumber who will fix your sink over the phone?" My guess is that the plumber would have to come to the sink and bring tools to get the job done. It's hard to accomplish a repair like that over the phone.

Someone wrote that ad, but worse, someone paid for it. Pity.

The right modifier in the right place

If you've followed this blog, you know I love misplaced modifiers. They pop up everywhere, and they're often very funny. However, it's probably best that they not appear on the Web site for a national chain of bookstores. Professionals who are out there in front of millions of potential readers need to write carefully.

Here's the little gem that's the reason for this post. I stumbled across it this morning. I won't tell you what store or what book because I'm not in the business of embarrassing people, but this is what it said:

" ... is a charming debut written by the late [author's name], who finished the novel as her health declined with the help of her niece. " The book in question is, I believe, as charming as the blurb writer says it is, but it it's unfortunate to read that the author's declining health was helped along by her niece.

Of course, we know that's not what the writer meant. Unfortunately, it's what the writer wrote. And I had to stop for a minute to sort it out.

Proofreading is more than getting the commas right. Every writer needs to read his or her own work--and then read it again.

Sometimes a great oops just lands in your lap

Working away today when I came across this terrific sentence: "The college is in a small town, complete with tree-lined streets where students can pursue their studies." Oh, my! Isn't it dangerous what with all that pesky oncoming traffic? How can they possibly study while they're dodging all those Hondas and SUVs?

This particular example came from a very respected Web site, which just goes to show that even the best can forget to proofread for meaning as well as grammar, usage, and punctuation. Misplaced modifiers get you every time.

5 big proofreading mistakes

Whether you're writing for publication or business--or both--don't send out your first draft. Even the most seasoned writers make mistakes. I've found them on my own blog posts--and hit myself in the forehead for them. Many errors can be eliminated by careful proofreading. Here are some things to do to begin the correction process.

• Read headlines and subheads. You'll be surprised at how many mistakes you might find there. I once sent out an $11K print job with a headline that had the word "Suprise" in it--in bright teal type. Of course, I meant "Surprise."
• Watch for word substitutions. For example, look out for their if you mean they're, then if you mean than, or who's if you mean whose.
• Root out wrong word choices, such as laying for lying, insure for ensure, or compliment for complement. All of these are commonly misused.
• Check your punctuation, particularly apostrophes and plurals. It's men's room, not mens' room. It's children's clothing, not childrens'. Be careful when it comes to the word it's. It's means it is or it has (It's my party, or It's been a long time ...); its means belonging to it (Its special features include ...). There is no such word as its'. Don't even think about it.
• Use your dictionary to make sure your spelling is correct. Just today, I received an e-mail with a great example of this simple rule. A restaurant posted a sign saying it was closed because the kitchen was out of meet. Oh, come on.

To get it right, you have to proofread several times. Different proofreaders have different styles, but some read once for headlines, subheads, and pull quotes only; once for street addresses, phone numbers, e-mail and web addresses, and other factual data; once more for numbers, figures, and page numbers; again for missing or repeated words or letters, and spacing errors; again for spelling; and finally for sense. Although that may seem like far too much work, proofreading goes quickly when you read for one thing at a time rather than trying to catch every kind of error during a more global look-see.

Paying attention will make your writing more polished and professional.