For the mothers among us

OK. I can't take it anymore, by which I mean use of the term "mother load" or, even worse, "motherload." Let's get it right. A lode is a vein of metal ore, such as gold or silver. A mother lode is a great big vein of such an ore, a vein that might feed other, smaller lodes. When they'd had a huge strike, the California gold rush miners--the'49ers--often said they'd "hit the mother lode."

People who don't know the difference, however, write about the mother load.

Folks, the only mother load I know about is a fetus. And if you hit that mother load, that mother is going to call a cop. Consider this your first warning.

Beware the almost-right word

When I can't sleep, I sometimes check out the long-form commercials we dress up with the term "infomercial." Of course, advertisers who invest in these expensive commercials try to put their products in the best possible light, and that's fine. But sometimes the people they hire to write the ads decide that the correct word for the context just isn't showy enough. They want a substitute. Something fancier or more sophisticated. That's okay, but it's best if the copywriter knows that words that are similar don't necessarily mean the same thing. Choosing the wrong word can make an ad sound stupid rather than upscale.

The best example I've seen lately comes from a product I can't even remember because I was laughing so hard at the substitute word the copywriter thought was more elegant than the correct one. The commercial said,"If you are missing the restive sleep you need, we can help."

Unfortunately, by substituting the word restive for the correct word--restful--the copywriter really screwed up and undercut the client's message. Restful, of course, means tranquil, giving rest, or a feeling of rest.

Restive, which the copywriter would have discovered had he or she bothered to look it up, means restless, impatient, or difficult to control. So if you're not awake enough already, go ahead and try the product. It's guaranteed to keep you up all night, tossing and turning and feeling out of whack.

Somehow I don't think that's what the advertiser had in mind when he hired an ad agency to tout his sleeping aid. Because the copywriter was too lazy to do the job, the client poured money down a rathole. Too bad.

5 big proofreading mistakes

Whether you're writing for publication or business--or both--don't send out your first draft. Even the most seasoned writers make mistakes. I've found them on my own blog posts--and hit myself in the forehead for them. Many errors can be eliminated by careful proofreading. Here are some things to do to begin the correction process.

• Read headlines and subheads. You'll be surprised at how many mistakes you might find there. I once sent out an $11K print job with a headline that had the word "Suprise" in it--in bright teal type. Of course, I meant "Surprise."
• Watch for word substitutions. For example, look out for their if you mean they're, then if you mean than, or who's if you mean whose.
• Root out wrong word choices, such as laying for lying, insure for ensure, or compliment for complement. All of these are commonly misused.
• Check your punctuation, particularly apostrophes and plurals. It's men's room, not mens' room. It's children's clothing, not childrens'. Be careful when it comes to the word it's. It's means it is or it has (It's my party, or It's been a long time ...); its means belonging to it (Its special features include ...). There is no such word as its'. Don't even think about it.
• Use your dictionary to make sure your spelling is correct. Just today, I received an e-mail with a great example of this simple rule. A restaurant posted a sign saying it was closed because the kitchen was out of meet. Oh, come on.

To get it right, you have to proofread several times. Different proofreaders have different styles, but some read once for headlines, subheads, and pull quotes only; once for street addresses, phone numbers, e-mail and web addresses, and other factual data; once more for numbers, figures, and page numbers; again for missing or repeated words or letters, and spacing errors; again for spelling; and finally for sense. Although that may seem like far too much work, proofreading goes quickly when you read for one thing at a time rather than trying to catch every kind of error during a more global look-see.

Paying attention will make your writing more polished and professional.

Bated v. baited

If you mean you're waiting with great nervousness or trepidation for news, please write the word "bated." It's a cousin of the word "abated," which means "lessened. " So "bated breath" means that you have less breath; you're holding your breath with anxiety or tension.

In this context, if you write "baited breath," I'm going to assume you have a worm on your tongue. And wonder why.

Obviously, this word pair isn't a problem in speaking, since the two words are pronounced the same way, but in writing, getting it wrong can make you look not so smart.

A past tense confusion

Last week, I listened to the US ambassador to Zimbabwe discuss the deteriorating political scene in that country. He said that one of the embassy employees, a native of Zimbabwe, had been "drug from his car and beaten."

Of course, the most important aspect of this report was the description of lawlessness that has gripped the country. However, the ambassador needs to learn that the past tense of the word drag is dragged, not drug.

Drug is a noun meaning a medication or substance that affects the nervous system in various ways. It's never a verb. Although sometimes heard in colloquial speech, using drug this way can make you sound like a rube--and I'd expect more precise speech from one of our ambassadors. English is supposedly our national language, so our representatives should speak it well.

"Lay" and "lie." Why is this so hard?

I've resisted writing this post for a long time, but when I heard a colleague say that she had "lied in the sun," and she didn't mean she was outside telling an untruth, I figured it was time. This word pair is the one that is most often messed up, and myths abound about which is right and in what context.

I recently heard a radio call-in argument about the subject, and the host obviously had no idea which was correct. When a caller said that "things lay and people lie," the host said that was good enough for him and closed the discussion. How unfortunate that the caller was wrong. Things lie all the time. And people lay things. So let's start at the top.

Lay means "to put or place on a surface" and always requires an object--something put or placed. For example:

• I'll lay these reports (object) on the credenza in your office.
• When you've finished, lay your test booklets (object) in the box by the door.

If you use lay, you have to lay something. That's why, "I'm going to lay down for a while" is incorrect. There's nothing put or placed. However, "Now I lay me down to sleep" is correct because there's an object: me. However, in most cases we don't say, "I'm going to lay myself down," so lie is the correct word.

Lie means "to recline" or "to be positioned," and it doesn't take an object.

• Sue has to lie down in a dark room when she has a migraine.
• At this time of day, the sun lies just below the horizon.

When you want to talk about what happened in the past, the proper words are laid and lay.

• I laid the sweater (object) on the chair a couple of hours ago.
• Joe laid the report (object) on my credenza last week, but I can't find it.
• Sue lay down until her headache went away.
• The reports lay on the credenza for a month before anyone got around to reading them.

And the past participle (don't worry about the name; this isn't a grammar test) of these two words are laid and lain.

• I've laid the reports (object) on your credenza.
• I'd lain down for only a couple of minutes when the phone rang.

The present participle forms (the -ing form) are laying and lying.

• I'm laying tile (object) this morning.
• Don't call after noon. I'll be lying down. Tile work is exhausting.

The same rules apply to set/sit and raise/rise.

Set and raise always require an object. Sit and rise never have an object. For some reason, people don't have quite as much difficulty with these two as they do with lay/lie, although in my neck of the woods, I often hear, "Set down and make yourself comfortable." Here's how to use these word pairs.

• Please set the plant (object) in the corner.
• Please sit down.
• We'll raise the flag (object) at dawn.
• Please rise for the national anthem.

Because these words are misused so often, saying and writing them correctly may feel odd at first. Persevere. It's OK to be right.

The reign in Spain

There's an interesting car commercial running now. It states that "Joan of Arc reigned only five years." Really? I was unaware she ever reigned. As a matter of fact, Joan's fondest desire was to put someone else on the throne. There's no doubt that Joan had a significant influence on the course of history, but she wasn't a sovereign, and she didn't reign.

Recently, I saw a similar use of this verb in the context of a college president's "reign" over the campus. I know academic regalia is cool, but it generally doesn't confer royal power. That's why college presidents are installed during an inauguration rather than a coronation.

English is a language of subtleties, and, to me, "reign" as a verb has the connotation of kingly (or queenly) rule. As an adjective, though, "reigning" often has the opposite connotation, meaning commonplace or popular, as in the "reigning" opinion or fashion of a particular time.

One more thing to remember is the spelling of reign v. rein. A "rein" is part of a bridle, used to hold a horse in check. However, I can't tell you how many times in the past few weeks I've seen the phrase "to reign him/her/it in." The right word in that context is "rein" because it means to exercise control over something or someone.

And don't forget to take your umbrella when it reigns.

A pair of troublesome word pairs

It seems I'm picking on professors lately. That's not my intent, but they're interviewed a lot on public radio, which I listen to during my half-hour commute to work. I heard a gaffe from one recently that surprised me; since then, though, I've heard it several more times (it's funny how these things seem to come in waves). The professor was talking about the weather and referred to "climactic" conditions.

Sorry, professor, but thanks for playing. The word he was looking for was "climatic," which means pertaining to climate. "Climactic" would, of course, mean pertaining to a climax. For example:

• The environmentalists were concerned about several recent climatic changes.
• John was late and missed the climactic moment of the play.

And one more. Could we please, please distinguish between "serve" and "service"?

"To serve" means to meet the needs of another, such as a customer.

"To service" means to maintain. It also can mean to bring a stud to a female for breeding.

So whenever I hear, "We service our customers, " I wonder if perhaps the company might be going a bit too far. A simple handshake is probably all that's necessary.

I guess someone thought that "serve" was too pedestrian and "service" more high-toned and elegant. But, in fact, "serve" serves just fine.

Word pairs still troublesome

Yesterday I received one of those "healthy living" magazines from a local hospital. It contained an article about rehydrating after exercise. The doctor is quoted as saying, "Follow a regular fluid regiment." Because the writer or the doctor (or both) chose the wrong word of a similar word pair, the sentence doesn't make sense.

A regiment is a military unit of two or more battalions. However, a regimen is a specially prescribed course, usually related to diet or exercise. And a regime is the government in power.

The embarrassment potential for misusing these words is high because many people know the difference between regimen and the other two. If you're confronted with a troublesome word pair or triplet, your best friend is a dictionary. These three words--regime, regimen, and regiment--follow each other, so it's easy to check which one to use.

Eat and die

Sometimes words that sound nearly alike have quite different meanings, and you can embarrass yourself when you use them incorrectly. For example, the words gourmand and gourmet both refer to food, but one of them is laudatory and the other is insulting. A gourmet is a person who is knowledgeable about food and appreciates fine cuisine and wine. A gourmand, on the other hand, is a hog. A glutton. Someone who will plow his or her way through whatever's on the table. So it's probably not a good idea to refer to the boss as a gourmand.

Recently, I've seen considerable confusion in another word pair: interment and internment. To inter is to bury. To intern is to confine someone to a specific location, such as a camp, usually during a time of war. So an interment is a burial and an internment is a type of imprisonment.

While I suppose we could argue that someone who's dead is imprisoned in a coffin-sized space, that's a bit of a stretch. Better to get it right than to try to talk your way out of that one.