Closed captioning 2

After the last post, I found another lovely misuse on a caption. This one occurs a great deal in speech as well, so I thought I'd bring it up. You'll find it in the confused word pairs section of my book Talking Your Way to the Top.

Desperate Housewives voiceover caption: "What she didn't know was that the Calvary was on the way."

I don't think so. Let's look at the words being confused here: Calvary and cavalry.

Calvary is the place where Jesus was crucified.

Cavalry means troops that fight on horseback or in armored vehicles.

Usually it's the cavalry that rides to the rescue, not the Calvary. That place hasn't moved in millennia.

Because I was reading the caption and not listening to the voiceover, I'm not sure what was said, but I'd put down money that the reader got it right and the caption writer was the one who didn't know the difference. But someone in production should have been watching. Oversight seems to be lacking in the caption world.

Have to love closed captioning

Last night, as I was I was "reading" my TV to keep from wakening other members of the household, I saw an interesting ad caption. The product advertised was Nyquil. Three rather doltish characters were discussing another person's symptoms, which the caption indicated might be a result of his having "hoof in mouth disease."

This is a public announcement to the makers of Nyquil. If you're going to caption your ads, which you should, you also should make sure the captions are correct. There is no such disease as "hoof in mouth," unless a cloven-hooved animal has made a significant oral faux pas. Although humans may certainly have "foot in mouth" disease, animals have hoof and mouth disease.

And, by the way, hand-foot-and-mouth disease, which is common in children and not serious, is not related to hoof and mouth disease, which occurs in animals and can be fatal.

So, Nyquil folks, take your feet out of your mouths and fix the caption.

Back at the same old stand

Forget that Grammar Granny business. There already is a Grammar Granny online. Who knew? I didn't until I stumbled across the Web site. So I'm staying right where I am. Online life can be so confusing.

Write it right or don't write it at all

A few months ago, I wrote a post on the perils of using foreign phrases you don't understand (or may understand, but don't know how to spell). I found a beaut of an example on a Web site. The blogger wrote that someone had that certain "gene sa qua."

I believe she meant "je ne sais quoi," the French phrase meaning "I don't know what," and usually understood to mean an indefinable positive quality.

The usage was correct, but the writer didn't take the time to look it up and made herself look silly.

Online dictionaries make the task of choosing the right phrase quick and easy. Be memorable, not laughable.